So you’ve had a great relationship with someone. Let’s be realistic, it wasn’t perfect you both were working to make it work, but all in all it seemed good. Then out of no where you are dumped and you have no reason why? So this is actually more common than a lot of women want to believe usually the reasons include; your emotions and his concern for your ability to be able to handle things when life gets rough, he didn’t feel you respected him, he lost interest (sexually), or he might have his own baggage that you will never be able to fix because only he can do that for himself. So now you move forward:
1. Last Ditch Effort – So was the breakup over a heated argument? Or did he just wake up one morning saying it’s over? Talking it over in detailed length is only going to push him away further. But you can express your side and point of view. During this time be rational get emotions out before the conversation, you need to discuss this looking at things from his point of view not yours. Try to see if there is a tangible reason you broke up something that was a misunderstanding that can be discussed and remedied.
2. Accept It’s Over – If he says it’s over after a final conversation then you must accept it. If the reasons he broke up with you was because you were emotional or that you didn’t respect him, now is the time to prove that’s not you. Be respectful and plan a proper exit strategy being as fair as possible in the relationship. Being level-headed and respectful costs nothing. If you need to vent and cry about the relationship do it with your friends and family, not with your ex.
3. Focus On Possibilities – It can be tough now but you have to know that everything happens for a reason. This breakup is a blessing in disguise it will allow you to put laser focus on things that might be holding you back from being the best person you can be. So make a new plan, start by focusing on you. Put time and energy into work, friends, hobbies, etc. Then make a new list of things you want in a partner. If the reason he broke up with you was because of attraction failing, get sexy again. See if you can improve you and be honest with yourself how can you exit this relationship gracefully and get yourself ready for the next one.
4. Should We Be Friends – This is very much a personal call. I think it can be very healing to be able to be friends with an ex, it shows emotional character that you can see a person for who they are not for the feelings you hold towards them in the relationship. I do suggest a break though at least for one month no contact. This allows you to fully emotionally separate and be able to get your life back together (adjust the time period to suit you). When you do decide to be friends with an ex make sure you decide what that looks like, I wouldn’t make this person your best friend, instead I would make them a friend you share coffees and movies with. I wouldn’t make them your confidant and talk about new relationships with them. See where it goes, if you can be friends great, if there is too must hurt or arguing over the past you must then let each other go and move forward so that you can both be healthy.
So what does the future hold? Well no one knows that but if you can follow the steps above you give yourself the best scenario. It might turn out that the problems in your relationship with your ex are remedy by the time and distance for clarity and you might come together with renewed energy and insight for the relationship. Or it was a relationship that taught you things you can use to be a better person and partner in your next relationship, both options are win-win.